Breaking News: We Know Who The Woman On Mars Is
This might come as a shock to you, but these are the only possibilities
So, the NASA’s Curiosity Rover has possibly found life form on Mars. Is that something to celebrate or be scared of? We don’t know. From most of the speculations we hear, it looks like some woman chilling around Mars mountains, looking super cool in a cloak. But who is it? We give you five possibilities. Because, who else could she be?
Does anyone know where she is? Which was the last film she did? Whom is she dating? How has India’s paparazzi-hungry kissing queen suddenly dropped off the radar? Well, she hasn’t, apparently. How she got there, we don’t know. But hey, how did she get to Hollywood and get into a bunch of crappy films in the first place? We don’t have the answer to that one too, now do we?
We don’t know whether she has the money to be lounging around Mars, but her absence from the Bollywood scene is a tad suspicious. While her brother somehow tries to stay afloat on page three, Sister Patel is nowhere to be seen.
She of the unfortunate surname, Diana Penty, might just have run away to another planet, all thanks to the avalanche of poorly-crafted underwear humour. We actually sympathise with her. But now that they have found her, look out for a fresh barrage of Penty jokes.
Well, we heard that she had become a sexy sanyasini in Coimbatore and had then travelled to Ladakh too, hunting for Moksha (and other stuff you hunt for after smoking some good dope). But Buddhism did not work out for her. She converted to Christianity after that. And by the look of it, maybe Christ couldn’t save her either? She could be following some outer space Martian religion these days.
Was it a botched nose job or was the actress kidnapped by some aliens as a part of an inter-galactic conspiracy to keep Bollywood safe from terrible acting talent? Do they strike every 9 years? Are they coming for Jackky Bhagnani or Sonam Kapoor next?