If you have watched any of these films, I am accompanying you to the producers’ offices for a refund – and compensation for all the money you’ve paid your therapist.  

Machine

Everybody said that this film was the worst thing to have been made by Abbas-Mastan – and that is saying something, given their recent filmography. With an outrageous plot that never makes sense, terrible dialogue laden with multiple entendres, shoddy CGI and pathetic performances by papa da ladla, Mustafa Burmawala (Abbas’s son) and Kiara Advani, this one is best forgotten.

Begum Jaan

Whoever told Srijit Mukherjee that his Bengali opus, Rajkahini, was a well-made film was smoking up the mountain’s finest. Having said that, the original film was not as bad as the Ramsay horror show the Hindi remake (starring Vidya Balan and Naseeruddin Shah, no less) was. Loud, garish and emotionally vacuous, Begum Jaan is the perfect example of a good concept terribly executed – and a director’s unbridled hubris, of course. 

Half Girlfriend

Arjun Kapoor. Shraddha Kapoor. Chetan Bhagat. An almighty mess. All of them should consider retirement – Lord knows they have enough money to do so.

Indu Sarkar

For some reason, Bollywood was caught up in a politically-driven, Congress-bashing wave mid-year – and Indu Sarkar was one of these films. I could go on and on about how terrible the script was, how bad the dialogues were, how shoddy the research was and so on. Or I could just tell you that Neil Nitin Mukesh was the lead.

Baadshaho

This “period heist action thriller” could just be described as “the year’s biggest snoozefest that could not get enough people filling up the theatre even after trying to create hype about Ajay Devgn and Ileana D’Cruz’s long and supposedly passionate sex scene”.

Jia Aur Jia

What happens when the indie industry’s two leading ladies – Kalki Koechlin and Richa Chaddha – suddenly decide to sell their souls and talent for money? This obnoxious excuse for a film – although, after having seen it, I doubt they made any money either. Poor ladies.

Firangi

Kapil Sharma is a village lout who aspires to be a policeman in British India, and his magic kick can heal backaches. Yes, you read that right. The film could also be titled “The Kapil Sharma Trying Hard To Be A Part Of Bollywood Show”.

Tubelight

Salman Khan took up the challenging task of “acting” in a film – an endangered film-making tool that is rarely seen in his other efforts. The tool, evidently, did not work. Who needs such unnecessary hassles, anyway? Khan is above such amateur distractions.  

Raabta

A khichdi of epic proportions, Raabta definitely goes into the Bollywood Razzies Hall of Fame, for being the first film in a long time that failed in every single department of film-making.

Rangoon

Definitely the year’s biggest disappointment, Rangoon’s failure was unexpected. Who thought Vishal Bharadwaj, Gulzar, Saif Ali Khan, Shahid Kapoor and Kangana Ranaut could mess it up like this? The film was so bad that it hurt to keep staring at the screen, at times.