You’re at a bar. You’re with a pretty girl. You want to impress her. You also want to get some alcohol in her quickly, so she doesn’t notice your watch is a replica and your shirt is from a factory seconds outlet. Shots are your best bet. They’ll relax the mood instantly. Plus, they conjure the sense of an event. The evening needs a beginning.
But, you don’t want to order vodka or factory-made tequila. It’s going to make you look like a pustulent adolescent who couldn’t hold a glass of scotch any more than he could the keys to a car. Shooters with more fruit juice in them than fruit punch are just going to remind her of giggly nights with her girlfriends. This has to be different.
Luckily, you’ve done some research. You’ve read about the RÉMY iceBOXX: fine-quality cognac frozen to -18 degrees Celsius. The novelty value itself is worth the price. This is an experience; the brain freeze is something you can share, laugh about, send witty text messages about later. Then, there’s the fact that it actually has a taste; it’s not just something that’s going to lead to an awkward moment when she, or god forbid you, is left doubled over begging someone to set off a fire extinguisher in your throat. There’s sweetness to it, but also the distinct taste of alcohol.
Shots down, you turn into a connoisseur. You talk about how cognac is such an underrated drink. How it can only be produced in a certain region in France, much like champagne, and is as treasured there as scotch is in other countries. For effect, you order a glass of cognac neat, the way the French would, and sip it slowly while waxing eloquent on how beautiful the region where the grapes grown to make the eaux-de-vie for Remy Martin is, leaving out of course the fact that you’ve never been there and have just seen pictures and videos.
By the end of the night, you’ve given her a tasty drink, something to tell her friends about and the aspiration to go from a cognac shot drinker to a cognac and cigar connoisseur. In short, you’re in. Understood? Take it and go.
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