Anti-Romeo Squads Finally Read Shakespeare; Turn Pro Valentine’s Day
After an enlightening session of reading William Shakespeare’s tragedy Romeo and Juliet, Uttar Pradesh’s ‘anti-Romeo’ squads have made a u-turn on their stance and are set to dispense red roses on the next Valentine’s Day.
“It dawned upon the squads that just like its lead characters, human beings are neither wholly good nor wholly evil, but instead are more or less alike. As a result, we will now support all romance activities in public and even help couples with gifts,” said Director General of Police Javeed Ahmed.
The biggest campaign from Ahmed’s forces will take place next year. “Apart from supporting local Romeos throughout the year, we are planning a national-scale event on Valentine’s Day in 2018, to mark the beginning of a truly new era.”
According to him, the squads will distribute red roses for men and women to help them express love to their partners. “Counters will be set up across the country and some of our men will also set out to remote locations to find couples in need,” he revealed.
This comes in after Uttar Pradesh chief minister Yogi Adityanath had issued a directive to all members of the anti-Romeo squads to mandatorily go through Shakespeare’s original play.
“It was a long, arduous read. But now, we have realised the dangers of hasty action and the power of tragic fate. There’s a Romeo hidden in all of us and we should help our brothers and sisters in times of need,” said a squad member from Muzaffarnagar district, Manohar Singh Yadav.
This is a fake news report. Any similarity or relevance is purely fictional. But hey, here’s hoping for the best. Have an optimistic April Fool’s Day.