The Best Man’s Guide
FASHIONABLE CHOICES As the best man, fashion designer Jenjum Gadi…
As the best man, fashion designer Jenjum Gadi says, it’s important to let the centre of attention be the groom. Yet, the best man should also shine. Here’s what the best man can choose to wear:
For the wedding: “A well-cut sherwani with some detail on the collar will be suited for the occasion,” says Gadi. Fashion designer Sonam Dubal adds, “A woven textile with micro embroidery would be nice.”
For the bachelor party and cocktail: “Go for a suit with embellishment or try layering. You can also pick something that has a drape to make your outfit stand out,” says Gadi. “Wear a black jacket with a coloured tie. If you want to try Indian, go for a black shirt with a coloured brocade jacket, and velvet shoes. Even a plain velvet waistcoat on an all-black attire looks great,” says Dubal.
For the mehendi: “Go Indian funky. A kurta with bandhani in a bright colour or a printed kurta will complement the groom and add a vibe,” suggests Gadi. “Accessorise without overshadowing the groom with a beautiful ring with a ruby, or an antique piece,” says Dubal. For the colour palette, Dubal advises to go with the theme of the wedding. “The best man needs to stand out from the other men, but keep the thunder of the groom. Add edgy elements to your outfits like a funky pocket square, a brooch, a different textile, in keeping with the colour theme in a subtler shade,” he says.
HELPING THE GROOM KILL IT
Dubal gives a five-point guide to help the groom stay organised and shop for the big day:
1. As the best man, you have to first get the groom to adjust to the fact that weddings are flashy, and that he will wear things that he probably won’t wear otherwise. Help him feel excited about it.
2. Reassure him about your guidance. Tell him you won’t let him make the wrong choices while helping him decide what to wear.
3. Pick what the groom is comfortable with, but make it a little different. You understand his mindset the best, so ease him into a little experimentation. If he likes black, go for black, but add details of embroidery.
4. Help him relax. Get him thinking about looking nice, and be there for all trials. Encourage him to pick things that look good on him and be vocal about how he looks at fittings and trials to boost his confidence about his choices.
5. All grooms need to feel comfortable about their choices, or it shows in the wedding pictures when the groom is not excited. Be the person they can count on to help them pick what they like, but also encourage a little risk. Moral support is the most important thing you can give the groom.
Five things every best man should be involved in, according to WEDDING PLANNERS
Music: You should know who the DJ is, and he should have a list of all the bride and the groom’s favourite songs.
The bar: No one knows the groom’s drink better than the best man, so make sure you know the bartender and keep getting the right cocktails to the couple. You can also have bartenders that will do customised cocktails for the wedding based on the couple’s personalities.
Food: Be involved with the menu and help in ensuring the couple’s favourite dishes are on the menu. Pick caterers that are innovative and can curate a menu that’s spoilt for choice.
The groom and groom squad’s outfits: It’s nice to be colour coordinated or have matching safas or pagdis or stoles.
Socialise with guests: Make them feel relaxed, get involved with dancing and the photo booth, for example.
Make sure the other groomsmen are on time and ready: Tracking down missing VIPs is stressful for everyone involved in a wedding, so don’t be afraid to send everyone a reminder and follow up with them as the departure time gets closer.
THROWING THE BACHELOR PARTY OF THE CENTURY
As the best man, one of the most important tasks is throwing the best bachelor party that the groom never forgets. Wedding planners give tips on how to do this one right: “The most important thing is to pick a location that’s conducive to the activities you want,” says Kunal Rai, VP, at Tamarind Global Weddings, one of the biggest event planning companies in the country. Rai says, “Find out from the groom who he wants there and get as many people to show up as you can. Create a dare list for the groom to tackle throughout the party, it will make things more interesting.” The money aspect of the party, Rai adds, is sensitive. “Find out from the invitees about their budget and plan keeping everyone’s financial comfort in mind. Put together an expense spreadsheet if you’d like, provide a copy of the invoices, and/or forward vendor communications. Most people know that they need to pay to play but there are a few who like to know exactly what they’re paying for.” Shehzzarin Udwadia, Director, Wedniksha, says, “The best man should pick the destination that the groom wants and book it in advance. Keep track of who’s invited, who’s coming, accommodations and what activities will take place for each day. Stay on top of the costs, making sure each attendee pays his shares.” Delhi-based wedding planner Aanchal Tuli emphasises on the importance of planning the bachelor party before the wedding celebrations start. “Do it a month or two in advance so that the excitement remains and because you don’t want your groom to wake up with a hangover. The groom needs to be fresh for his functions,” she says.
Best man duties
PRE-WEDDING AND DURING
The best man is the person everyone will turn to, and his duties are as important as anyone else. Here’s a checklist for the duties that will ensure everything goes smooth: “Planning suit trials and making sure the outfits are on point is an important prewedding task. Identifying the right designers, scheduling appointments are things the best man should stay on top of,” suggests Tuli. Udwadia brings to light one of the most important tasks of all — “Keeping the wedding rings safe on the big day,” She says. Rai adds, “The best man needs to keep a check on coordinating travel and accommodations.” For the wedding day, Tuli says, “Make sure the room that the groom is getting ready in is clean and ready so the wedding photographer can take some good behind-the-scenes bytes. Keep some music and drinks for a fun groomsmen shoot. Once he’s ready, make sure the moments of leaving the house, getting to the baaraat are all captured well on camera.” Rai advises, “Get the groom to the ceremony 30 minutes before the time. Act as a confidant for the groom as he might have pre-wedding nerves.”