The nation has come to a standstill at the news of Taimur Ali Khan’s reported nap. Traffic has ceased, and a bank holiday has been declared. Reports first emerged earlier today, and have been confirmed by reputable sources.

It is understood that the nap took anywhere from forty five minutes to an hour. “I don’t know why he didn’t sleep for at least an hour and a half,” said Sonali Gautam, a tearful citizen. “I’m afraid that his cheeks will lose their rosiness if he doesn’t get enough rest.”

The Indian Army has largely been pulled out of our northern border to monitor the situation. A police perimeter has been put around Taimur’s house. Each policeman stationed around this perimeter has had his tongue cut out to ensure that he does not speak, in order to maintain silence as Taimur naps.

The Indian Government has declared sweeping environmental protection measures. Factory pollution and vehicle emissions will face new, stringent guidelines. “We are afraid that Taimur’s hair will lose its shine if we do not take steps to ensure clean air” said a spokesperson for the Department of Environment.

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