While distance makes the heart grow fonder, there is also a saying that goes, ‘out of sight, out of mind’. We spoke to a few people to find out whether such relationships work, and some tips to make sure it works.
“I don’t think long distance relationships work. You have no idea what your partner is up to, and that creates a lot of insecurity, and that leads to incessant fights. Also a phone conversation cannot replace the intimacy of touch,” says Kiran Kapoor, a 31-year-old lawyer.
But then, there are married people with kids who have no option but to survive in such a relationship. “While short messages on WhatsApp is fine, long letters take a lot more effort. It is the best way of sharing all your thoughts and experiences with your partner. Long letters will also give your partner something to look forward to and prevent the relationship from stagnating,” says Amar Rathod, a 36-year-old banking professional who works in Mumbai, but has his family living in Kolkata.
Another crucial element that is extremely critical is to plan periodic trips together. “Even though, you have a busy schedule, it should not be difficult to plan two trips a year for both parties. That makes it four meetings, ideally once every three months. Make these meetings (make sure you are there for your partner’s birthday) special and plan them way in advance, so that they are memorable,” says Priyanka Tripathi, a 28-year-old PR manager.
There are also times when long distance can prove to be a relationship saver. “I was sick of my partner, and he was sick of me. So we decided to stay apart for a while to think about our mistakes, and things we need to change about ourselves to keep the spark alive,” says Ritu Malhotra, a 30-year-old professor.
If you are someone who is reading this because your partner is going to go to some other town, then do note that the initial stages of the relationship might be tough. But if you stay strong, and learn to enjoy each other despite the distance, you’ll see through it.