It came in as a rude shock for many enthusiastic kids (and also ultra-right nationalists) when the Supreme Court last week banned the sale of firecrackers in the national capital till October 31 while dismissing traders’ plea for permission to sell crackers for at least a day or two before Diwali on October 19.

And while we don’t oppose the ban (especially looking at the dire pollution situation in the NCR), we feel that banning even these things would be far more beneficial for the people of Delhi in the longer run.

Stupid Vehicle Stickers

Ever been on the Yamuna Expressway or the Delhi-Chandigarh highway? Or even if you’ve just driven around within Delhi, you’d be familiar with the “Maa ki amanat”, “Daddy’s gift”, “Chora jaat ka” and “Baabey di full kirpa” stickers. We’d be totally judging you if you supported this kind of behaviour!

‘Jaanta Hai Mera Baap Kaun Hai?’

Or ‘Chacha vidhayak hain humaare!’ The Delhi boys’ sense of entitlement remains a mystery even for the MOSSAD. Forget expecting an apology from a fubber who brushed your shoulders on the sidewalk, they’d instead stare, howl and make you feel guilty for it. Like seriously!

Punjabi Rap Obsession

There was this one time last year when it seemed like Delhi had just one FM station. It’s because you could hear only ‘Vakhra Swag’ everytime you tuned the radio. It still happens once a day in the capital as equally popular Punjabi rap songs have now replaced the Badshah track on the top of the charts. What more do you expect from the people who chant ‘Bolna aunty aau kya’ on the streets!

The Delhi Fuckboy Fashion Sense

And what’s with the accent guys! Shoaib Akhtar would definitely be proud. So would Mallika Dua’s alter ego from all of AIB’s videos. And what needs to be banned like yesterday is also the obnoxious combination of the Palika aviators, those shiny ripped off belt buckles and pointy shoes. PLEASE!

Men Outside

Last but not the least, Delhi would be much safer without those men stepping out of their houses to catcall and ogle at the girls. Delhi isn’t exactly the safest place for women just in case you’ve been living under the rock for all these years!