In a now-deleted tweet, the iconic Miss Ariana Grande let us all know that fiance Pete Davidson was very generously endowed – emphasis on the very.
(Credits: The Verge)
Now, that we have your attention, let’s talk Big Dick Energy. What is it, you wonder? Well, first things first, it has nothing to do with ginormous genitalia. BDE is sort of an inner confidence that certain people exude. United States President Donald Trump does not have it but Barack Obama certainly does. South Korean singer Holland has it and so does the legendary Hyuna. Oprah has always had it and so does that boy in High School who stood up to your bullies. Your bullies could have had footlongs in their trousers but they’ll never possess BDE. Some even say that Ariana Grande’s God Is A Woman is full of BDE. Get the drift?
(Holland and Hyuna are said to be full of BDE)
“What we’re talking about is really more of an aura, a vibe,” Allison P. David wrote for The Cut. The entire thing began post-Anthony Bourdain’s tragic death. Bourdain was an icon and a much-beloved one at that, simply because he explored other cultures without trying to white-splain it.
we’re talking about how anthony bourdain had big dick energy which is what he would have wanted
— vampire workday (@imbobswaget) June 9, 2018
Bourdain was one of the earliest male allies of the #MeToo movement and didn’t shy away from schooling his brethren or calling them out publicly on their problematic behaviour. Bourdain, by all accounts, had major Big Dick Energy. However, while the internet was replete with discussions about how Rihanna and Beyonce have always possessed BDE, the question here is why do we have to equate certain women with having a metaphorically large male genitalia?
(RiRi and Queen Bey are both said to possess major BDE)
Here’s Liz Plank with an alternative.
Since women didn’t get to properly enjoy big dick energy because of scotus, i’m introducing big uterus energy: a quiet confidence that comes from knowing millions of women are going to vote republicans out of office. #BigUterusEnergy
— Liz Plank (@feministabulous) June 28, 2018
While, of course, Big Dick Energy is a meme that is already almost past its sell-by date, it is kind of problematic. “You might be thinking, “Okay, cool! I’m a woman but I can still have BDE.” But why are we using solely the dick as a “power” symbol. Last I checked, “pussy is power” too. Women can exude the same sort of aura and vibe without it being described as something to do with a “big dick”,” wrote Tisha Ramirez for Preen.
“Joking about big dick energy does not reinforce systemic sexism. What it does do is reinforce a system of masculinity that eventually leads to toxic masculinity. BDE as a quality has nothing to do with actual dicks and is valuable regardless of the actual genitalia of its possessor, but our collective cultural impulse is to link it rhetorically to penis size. The dick part of BDE is just a metaphor, but that metaphor is not value-neutral,” add Alex Abad-Santos and Constance Grady in their article for Vox.
BDE aims to be a counter or an alternative to toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity is what leads men to send unsolicited dick pictures, to ask ‘what was she wearing’ when a survivor recounts their horror story and to vote for those who wish to legislate women’s bodies. The supporters of Section 377 do not possess BDE. The ones who worry that demolishing Section 377 will lead to more gay men ‘hitting on’ them will never have BDE. Men who give women an equal chance to talk, who support equal pay and who don’t think every second gay guy has a crush on them are so full of BDE that you can sense it from a mile away.
‘big dick energy’ is confidence without cockiness. it is never misplaced, and it cannot be simulated. it is the sexual equivalent of writing a check for $10K knowing you got it in the bank account
thank you for attending my TEDxTalk
— priya (@priya_ebooks) June 25, 2018
However, at the end of the day, no matter how much we may wax eloquent about it being a vibe and aura, it is still closely tied to the ‘power’ of having a big dick. And honestly, Hyuna’s attitude is so much bigger than even the biggest metaphorical dick out there.