You are important to us. We expect the world from you. Also, we want you to be the absolute best you can be. So, try hard, please? Stay in shape, work hard. Be fit, kind, honest, heroic, comfortable in any company, and, if possible, successful.

 

It’s always about the little things. It’s all in the little things. Little things are very, very important. Way more important than the things you consider the big things.

 

Porn is never a good indicator of what we want sexually. Also, just stop with the whole Fifty Shades of Grey thing already. Nobody wants what that woman wanted. Nobody.

 

We love underdogs. But, only if they eventually win out. Also, self-pity is the ultimate turn-off.

 

Smell good. And, we’re not talking Axe deo and anticipation. Just be clean, please. Soap, water, toothpaste and moisturisers are all we ask.

 

Make eye contact. There’s nothing sexier than a man who looks at a woman when he’s talking to her. Most men tend to glance away — checking their phones, scanning the room (looking for other women?), eyes straying to the closest TV screen or the cars parked outside. It sends out a message that they’d rather be doing other things. A man looking at a woman with emotion and intimacy is practically foreplay. Sounds corny? Don’t knock it till you try it.

 

Men and women are different, but equal. Repeat that to yourself till it sinks in.

 

Doing the dishes is sexy. Knowing your way around a kitchen is sexy. Sniggering at your guy friends who do this is definitely unsexy.

 

The whole ‘I talk straight, I don’t sweet-talk’ line works only for Ajay Devgn. If you aren’t Ajay Devgn, please make up for it by being charming.

 

You don’t know what it’s like to have a whole human being growing inside your body, rolling and punching and doing cartwheels. You’ll never know. Please don’t pretend to know.

 

Finally, gay men, please let us know early. Especially if you’re cute (which you usually are).