The internet suggests that ‘planning for a buffet is like strategising for a war’
The mere thought of buffets brings out the ravenous best in some people. But there are times when even you are unable to do justice to your gastronomic capabilities. In order to avoid such mishaps, we looked up and found some interesting strategies to most efficiently consume a buffet on Quora. These food geeks draw parallels between planning for a buffet and strategising for a war. It’s both an art and science according to them and here’s their holistic plan to bulldoze through a buffet most efficiently.
Preparing a week ahead
The first stage of the ‘strategy’ begins a week ahead of the buffet. 101 is about eating heavier meals so that your gut adjusts itself for the ‘main event.’ The folks on the internet also suggest some form of workout in addition, especially swimming. It will enhance your appetite and further boost your preparations for the hugely-awaited dinner.
Stage two is 12 hours before the show. In contrast to the popular practice of skipping lunch before the big night, our friends on the web strongly recommend against fasting. ‘Fasting will make you weak’ they say and add, ‘Fasting will cause acidity and make you gassy. You don’t want half of your stomach to be filled by useless gases when that space should have been reserved for much more important things.’
Unleashing secret weapons
So after a filling breakfast and an early lunch, you might want to unleash the first ‘secret weapon’ from this strategy. Take a laxative pill 4-5 hours in advance and attend the necessary calls from nature in order to maximise the absorption capacity of your digestive tract for dinner.
Half an hour before the meal is our favourite phase but some sober people might want to skip it. However, if you know the power of munchies, you will definitely want to roll one (second ‘secret weapon’) and smoke half of it before you occupy your place on the table. Note: Getting too stoned could have a detrimental effect on your performance.
It’s stage 3 now – time to feast! And you are advised to carry a ‘comrade’ along, in order to carry you home. Munchies will take care of the entrees first, followed by the main course and desserts. It is strongly advised to have small portions of everything so that you can identify the best dishes and target them ‘with your full might’ in round two.
It’s just the beginning
A big no for drinking water during the meal and also for soups, ‘rice, breads, noodles, pasta or anything else of the sort.’ By now, it will be an hour into the buffet – the time when most people are full and chicken out. But according to these guys, you ‘have only just begun.’
To help you rip apart your enemy, you should now unleash ‘secret weapon’ number three – an aerated drink (or beer, maybe). A couple of sips and all those unwanted gases from the previous hour of digestion should be burped out in the blink of an eye.
This will prepare you for round 3 and you can now mix courses – salads and main course or starters and desserts. Walk a few paces and finish the rest of the second ‘secret weapon’ in a suitable place nearby. The lads claim that this will enable you to go for rounds 4 and 5 too and you will end up spending around three hours at the buffet.
Congratulations if you’ve reached so far! You will soon be recognised as a true food ninja!