So You Think You Can Dance?
So You Think You Can Dance?

Men envy that guy in the club who is burning up the dance floor and enjoying all the female attention, but most of them prefer not to learn this very important skill.


Everyone should dance. Apart from being a great form of cardio on Saturday nights, nothing is sexier for women than a man who is an engaging dancer. Please note my choice of words. Women might ogle at a Hrithik Roshan because he has the moves, but if he fails to draw them in, trust me, they are going to forget him before the bartender has salted the rim of the next cosmopolitan.


Men are generally three kinds of social dancers. The first kind are the awkward stomp-stomp-raise-the-roof guys who prefer drinking by the bar, staring at the cricket match on the mute flatscreen. If their girlfriends persist, they reluctantly join them on the dance floor, shuffling their feet to the rhythm and flouncing about with their arms in the air because that is all they have picked up from music videos. They might attempt to get cozy with their partner, will mostly fail at it and allow them to do all the grinding. After marriage though, you will see them not even bothering to get off the tables they have been sitting at since 8 PM, while their wives painfully eye younger crowds, itching to shake their booty.


The second kind are the peacocks. These guys are either actors, professional dancers or people who have attended years of “Bollywood” or “Contemporary Jazz” with Shiamak Davar because they thought “Dance is my life” before daddy made them do an MBA. They think women fall for technique and precision, and from the moment they walk into a club, they start an incessant chain of locking-popping-breaking-hammering-screwdriving and whatnot. People whoop and cheer them on initially. The guy will pull in some unsuspecting lady from the crowd and twist-turn-cocktail-shake her about with no consideration for her comfort, just to show off his supreme dancing prowess. They know every EDM track, will go over to the DJ to make requests and often try to lead the group, encouraging people to copy their steps or get into a train formation around the dance floor and other such delinquencies. These guys are hot, sure, but women don’t want to go home with him.


It is crucial to understand that very few people are actually professionally trained dancers, which is a crime, because everyone should know at least one formal and one South American style for basic social interactions. This will help you imbibe a sense of rhythm, and more importantly, teach you how to engage with women and other men on the dance floor. This is the third category of men — the kind most of us should be. For starters, don’t be conscious of how much you know or how good you are. You are either with a bunch of friends or with your partner and you just want to have a good time. So, if you have inhibitions, let go of them. Secondly, taking up dance lessons, especially vigourous duet styles like Salsa, Tango, Rumba or even individual styles like Jazz, Tap, Contemporary, Hip-Hop and, of course, Bollywood, is a great form of exercise. You lose the gut, tone up and learn some moves — how’s that a bad idea? Being able to dance well instills a great sense of confidence. You might be crushing those PPTs in the boardroom, but boy are you a damp squib on the dance floor — time to change that, bud.


Also, if you ask a stranger to dance with you, engage with him or her. Don’t just make weird eye contact and creepily smile at them. Bust some of your pet moves (if you are a noob, do this only after your friends have vetted them and have given permission to bust said moves publicly), make casual conversation and always ask for her approval before taking her hand and twirling her around. If the club’s too loud for dance floor chit-chat, here’s a leaf out of my book: (a) sing along to the track because nothing rocks better than a lip-sync battle, and (b) go desi suddenly and throw in some Bhangra (don’t do the drunk uncle at the shaadi version, of course) — it ups the energy, will make her laugh and is unabashedly masculine. Lastly, please don’t get down to dirty dancing immediately. Always allow her to initiate the hot’n’heavy. It’s always sexier that way.

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