Break ups are hard. But like all unpleasant things, the wounds heal with time. If you are stuck in a relationship that’s going nowhere, maybe it’s time to consider breaking up. And even though you may be tempted to just get done with it, a little manners is what makes us human. Here’s listing some ways in which you should never break up.

Via text/email/telephone

You’ve got to respect the emotional investment a person has made by being in a relationship with you. Breaking up over text, email or telephone is extremely disrespectful, and gives the impression that the relationship wasn’t that important anyway.

Through a friend

If you don’t have the balls to say it yourself, don’t take the easier route by asking a friend to do it for you. It’s wrong, and can be really shocking for your partner. If you’re going to break someone’s heart, at least say the dreaded words yourself.

After sex

If your relationship is relatively new, and you break up right after your first sex session, you’re fit to be crowned the king of douchebags. Don’t be one.

After a fancy dinner

Breaking the news after a fancy dinner is another horrible way to go about things. There’s an old saying that you must feed the goat before you cut it for lunch. You shouldn’t apply it to breaking up. Your task should be to make the blow as soft as possible.

In public

If you break up in public, you’re leaving your partner with limited options to react. If you break up in a quiet place instead, you might get shouted at, but it’ll be the right thing to do.